


all bright things must burn

by theyoungestzerogmechanic



Series: 100 ways to say [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: 100 Ways to Say I Love You Writing Challenge, 100 ways to say i love you, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, ish, not really touched on but it's there, sort of a coda to 2x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 05:25:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9164116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungestzerogmechanic/pseuds/theyoungestzerogmechanic
Summary: emily helps jj deal with the aftermath of the hankel case49. 'call me when you get home'





	

**Author's Note:**

> first work of 2017 as well as my first work since august. for number 49 'call me when you get home' of the 100 ways to say i love you challenge. i've had this idea for ages and i figured i would incorporate it into the challenge/with the prompt, not sure how well it worked but hey.
> 
> title from ['TO BURN IS TO BE REBORN'](http://skywalkerlesbian.tumblr.com/post/145967714938/stars-kiss-my-palms-and-whisper-take-care-my) by s.m.b
> 
> come find me on tumblr @biscxualsaralance

Emily walks into the meeting room at two am to find JJ sitting at the round table, a cup of something warm cradled between her palms and her eyes threatening to flutter shut every few seconds.

Her head jerks up at Emily’s entrance and the other agent offers her a smile, setting her bag and her pile of files down on the table and pulling out the chair beside JJ.

“Are you alright?” Emily asks, keeping her voice soft in an effort not to disturb the quiet that rests over the mostly empty building.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” JJ says, and Emily wants to tell her that there’s not much point lying to a profiler. The tense set of her shoulders and the dark circles under her eyes give her away. “I’m just tired.”

“It is two am,” Emily says, notes the way JJ’s forehead crinkles with that information, “Why don’t you head home, try to get some rest before we get called back in?”

JJ opens her mouth to respond before shutting it again and letting out what Emily would describe as a defeated sigh.

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping,” JJ says, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes, “Ever since I shot those dogs on Hankel’s farm I’ve been having these nightmares.”

“That was weeks ago. JJ, you know you could have talked to any of us about this, we would have been more than happy to help.”

“I know,” JJ snaps, “Of course I know that, but none of you ever need help with any of this.”

Emily thinks back to what JJ said to her on the farm _‘how come none of this gets to you? You came off a desk job. Now suddenly you’re in the field surrounded by mutilated bodies and you don’t even flinch’_

“And then there’s Spencer,” JJ adds, letting out another sigh, “I thought I could handle it.”

“Just because other people are going through things as well doesn’t make what happened to you any less important or traumatizing,” Emily says, reaching out to grab JJ’s hand, setting her mug carefully to one side.

“Thanks Em,” JJ says, squeezing her hand.

“You know that you can always come and talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, sometimes it’s just hard, talking to other people about stuff like this.”

Emily knows the feeling; she’s spent years bottling up everything she’s felt or experienced. Partly because it was a job requirement and partly because there wasn’t anyone she trusted enough to share the truth with.

“Alright, come on,” Emily says eventually, gathering her things together and standing, “We should get out of here while we still can.”

JJ snorts but stands as well. They stop by her office so she can grab her bag and then they walk over to the elevator banks, standing in comfortable silence while they wait for the elevator to reach their floor.

“I’ll see you either Tuesday or when we get called in for an emergency case,” JJ says, unlocking her SUV.

“Probably the latter,” Emily mutters with a scowl, “Try to get some sleep, and call me when you get home?”

“Sure, Emily.” JJ says, the corners of her mouth ticking up at Emily’s concern.

Emily heads over to her own SUV, waiting until JJ’s pulled out of the parking garage to start the car. She flicks through her preset radio channels until she finds one playing jazz before pulling out of her parking space and heading home.

//

JJ calls her just after eleven pm on Sunday night. The first time she calls Emily’s phone rings three times before it stops, the second time she answers the call to JJ’s shaky breathing.

“Is everything alright?” Emily asks, tucking her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she pulls open the drawer in her side table where she keeps her keys. All she gets is more shaky breathing and the muffled sound of something being knocked over. “Jennifer?”

“I need,” JJ starts before stopping, “I had a bad dream, and I was just wondering if- Emily, can you come over?”

“Of course JJ,” Emily says, balance precariously on one leg as she pulls on the pair of boots she’d abandoned next to the front door when she’d returned from the grocery store, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Okay,” JJ says shakily, “And Emily? Thank you.”

//

JJ opens the door in a pair of sweatpants and a singlet. She steps aside to let Emily in, locking and chaining the door while Emily takes off her boots and jacket.

“Thanks for coming over on such short notice,” JJ says, crossing her arms and rocking back onto the heels of her feet.

“Its fine,” Emily says, “I told you anytime and I meant it.”

JJ’s still fidgeting; seeming unsure of what to do with herself, and Emily takes her elbow and leads her into the lounge. She’s not used to seeing JJ, usually so composed and sure of herself, so undone.

“Talk to me, tell me what happened,” Emily says once they’ve settled on the couch, JJ sitting at one end and Emily at the other.

“It’s normally the same dream,” JJ says, hands twisting back and forth in her lap, “We split up around the back, Spencer goes towards the corn fields and I go into the barn. But when I get inside the doors shut behind me, and I try to get them open but they won’t budge. That’s when the growling starts, but I can never see the dogs. Then I find the body on the mattress, except it’s never Helen Douglas; it’s one of you guys, someone from the team. That’s normally when I wake up.”

“Oh JJ,” Emily says, reaching out to grab her hands like she had the other night in the conference room. “I’m sorry that you’ve been going through this alone.”

It had been weeks since the Hankel case and Emily wasn’t sure how none of them had noticed what JJ was going through. She’d noticed that JJ had been different since they’d gotten off the case, a little jumpier and more irritable, but she hadn’t thought anything more of it. Chalked it up to shock. Then JJ had started getting back to her normal self and Emily had all but forgotten about it. Which was stupid on her part, especially considering her own experiences. 

JJ looks up from her hands and Emily sees her wet eyes and has a moment of panic before she pulls herself together. She’d never really been good at personal relationships, but she could do this for JJ.

“Hey,” Emily says softly, adjusting herself on the couch and pulling JJ into her, wrapping her arms tightly around the other woman and tucking her into her side. 

JJ relaxes into her, her breathing uneven against Emily’s neck as she tries to compose herself. Emily just let’s herself sit there, running her fingers up and down JJ’s arm with her cheek pressed against her hair.

Eventually JJ lets out a shaky breath and tilts her head back so she can see Emily.

“Thank you for this, for everything.”

“I already told you, whatever you need, I’m here for. Stop saying thank you.”

“You got it,” JJ says, and then more softly, “Will you stay here tonight, with me?”

“Of course,” Emily says, and when JJ makes no move to get up Emily nudges gently, “Are we sleeping on the couch?”

“No,” JJ groans, but she takes another minute before she maneuvers herself off of Emily and stands, offering her a hand. “I have a perfectly good bed.” 

Emily follows JJ down the hall and into a small but cozy bedroom, hovering by the door for a moment until JJ shoots her a look and she moves further into the room. 

“Which side of the bed do you sleep on?” Emily asks, shedding her slacks and sweater in favour of the baggy shirt that JJ throws at her.

“The left, you?”

“The right,” Emily says with a soft laugh, climbing onto the bed and settling in beside JJ.

JJ flicks the lights off and lies down, settling into a position only to readjust a few moments later. Emily lets her fidget for a few moments before intervening. 

“Just come here,” Emily says, and her eyes have adjusted to the dark enough that she can see when JJ decides to give in and listen to her. 

She rolls into Emily, tucking herself under the other woman’s chin and slotting their legs together. It only takes a couple of minutes before her breathing slows and Emily wonders how long it’s been since she’s gotten a good amount of sleep.

She feels like the answer is probably too long.

//

They get woken up at seven thirty the next morning by JJ’s phone. They both groan and JJ fumbles over the nightstand until she can find it, managing to answer the call right before it goes to voicemail.

“Hello?” JJ answers, yawning into the receiver, “Of course, I’ll be right in.”

“We’ve got a case?” Emily asks, right as her phone starts to ring. “Stupid question, of course we do.”

Emily gets dressed quickly, needing to stop by her apartment and change before heading into the office, but she stops at the door, taking a moment to appreciate JJ in pajamas with wild hair looking better rested than she had in a while.

“I’ll see you at the office,” Emily says, hand on the door jamb, “We’ll talk later.”

“Definitely,” JJ replies with a firm nod, “I’m not done with you yet Emily Prentiss.”


End file.
